Please Forgive My Ignorance #PersonalStory

It's my day off that I went to Golden Fork, a Filipino Restaurant at Al Riqqa Street, Dubai City. I met my friend who joined me and we ordered Bulalo and bread. While waiting for our food, he told an amusing story, is it really amusing?

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My experienced before the onset of this computer age. Right now, I can say that I am quite a bit awkward when I remembered those happy days, am I?

There comes a time in every man’s life when he has to accept the fact that he is just about as dumb as he looks. And there is no time when a person feels dumber than when he is shopping for PC.

I experienced this not-so-funny story of my life when computers were starting to engulfed the whole world including our place. And, here’s my story, long, long time ago.

To prove my point, and to earn the dubious distinction of being one of the last living human being to get on-line, I have spent quite a bit of time looking for a PC, which is, of course, the technical abbreviation for Pretty Confusing.

Computer shopping at that time can be confusing for one of two reasons: You do not understand computer technology and you really are an idiot. Unless you are a computer literate, which means you speak a language that in no way resembles English, it is virtually impossible to figure out what anything means. I offer as an example the following list of common computer terms, along with what most normal people think they mean.

1) Windows – those glass things on the sides of houses and buildings that you see outside.

2) Mouse – those creatures swarming our kitchen during the night.

3)Megabytes – huge mouthful of food

4)Power chips – those potatoes in fast food

That is why, when you are in a computer store and a member of the computer support staff is telling you all about a particular system and the hardware, and the accessories that is included, you will probably be standing there thinking, “This thing comes with a light generator or flashlight?” What you really need is a screwdriver – vodka, orange juice over ice – to help you get through this ordeal. In lieu of that I offer the following computer tips for dummies – people who do not know computer in today’s generation – which come with my personal guarantee: If you believe any of them, you are an even bigger dummy than I am.

1) Don’t try to hide your stupidity. The fact that you are totally ignorant about computers will be obvious approximately 1.5 seconds after you open your mouth. Instead, introduce yourself to a friendly computer salesperson and say; “I am a dummy.” Repeat this three times. Then prostrate yourself in front of him and beg for help. Otherwise, you may find yourself in a limbo.

2) Never refer to computer salespeople as nerds. Not only do they have feelings, but they are there to help you. And they can get terrible revenge for your insensitivity by hooking you up to a system that, with the right software, will blow your top the moment you log on.

3) If you do not buy a computer soon, you will die. That is because technology has advanced to the point where people cannot live without PC’s and it is a must.

4) When you finally buy a home computer, you should learn how to use it. The best way to do this is to go to Computer Dummy School. The store from which I am buying my wonderful new system, for example, offers a six-hour class for people who are just as stupid as I am. Or, find another person to teach you the basic of being a fool. And, of course, I’ll probably spend the whole time looking out the Windows, reminiscing “Oh that was long ago, I am crazy now.”

I smiled like Mona Lisa effect but deep inside I was laughing out loud (LOL). If you are reading right now, maybe, just maybe, you’re thinking that I’m using my home computer? You’re wrong! I’m using my sleek laptop with gadgets and accessories that I never imagined before.